Nurturing Your Marriage

Vector image of two human figures with hands i...

Image via Wikipedia

A Pastor friend of mine once advised me that a married couple should,

  1. Dialogue Daily
  2. Date Weekly
  3. Depart Quarterly
  4. Deport Annually

Let’s look at each of those in detail –

  1. Dialogue Daily

It is important that not to much water flows under the bridge before a couple sets down to chat about it. Julie and I try to have at least one meal together each day. As important as it is for us to pour into our children, it is more important that we cultivate time together. So often I we will get the kids occupied in another room and we will just talk and enjoy a meal together.

According to Dr. Gary Smalley, when he asked the attendees at his various marriage conferences what “would improve your marriage the most”, well over 300,000 people answered, “We need better communication in our marriage”. Dr. John Baucham suggests  With the appearance of the 2 bathroom home, families forgot how to cooperate. With the 2 car garage families forgot how to associate. With the appearance of the 2 television home we forgot how to communicate.

  1. Date Weekly


This is not easy! I’ll be the first to admit. With busy schedules and activities with the kids finding time to take a few hours each week to catch a movie and a meal is a challenge. But the dividends are huge if you can fight to make it happen. One of the reasons I was really excited when God called me to serve in Alabama (my home state) was because of the proximity to grandparents. They are built in free babysitters! The kids love spending time with them and they love the opportunity.

  1. Depart Quarterly

At least four times a year plan a weekend retreat. For us it is normally in conjunction with a Revival that I am preaching or a conference one of us will be attending. We will either travel together (without kids) and occasionally take a couple of days following just to be together.


  1. Deport Annually


This one normally involves the kids, simply because we can’t afford two vacations. But it’s good, if you are able to get far away from home and just enjoy each other for an extended period of time. For us, that means the beach typically. We take a few days to soak up the sun, build sand castles, eat some good seafood and enjoy each other.